If everything just ‘has to work out’ – you are trapped

Whether it’s taking an enormous loan for this one huge project, taking the first job that comes to run away from a toxic boss, or agreeing on something really unreasonable just to stay in a relationship – it’s not about success.

The only thing we are doing is sabotaging ourselves.

Because if we have to pray that everything goes well otherwise we are done, we probably made a decision based on fear – either that it’s our last chance to “make it”, or that we just don’t have another choice, and it’s never true.

If we feel like we’re under the gun, we should take a step back and take a good look at how things really are.

It’s not about playing safe – if we believe in something, have a plan, are prepared, and want to make an extraordinary and important move, we will have to take risks. We will have to go out of our comfort zone, and we will be uncomfortable and often scared.

But it doesn’t mean we should do crazy things that put us into a position of no choice. 

That’s different. That’s desperation.

Because if we go for that “only” option, we’re locking ourselves in a cage. We risk so much that now we’ll just have to make it work, no matter what – to compromise ourselves and do things we wouldn’t do if we had a choice. That’s the last thing that we want.

We actually won’t make something work if we’re obsessed about losing it.

To do our best, we need space, energy, and drive. Not paralyzing fear.


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