No one will save you – make your own decisions

We like getting advice and listening to people who are more experienced, have seen a lot and walked the path. It makes sense, as no one knows everything and others might see things which we may have overlooked.

But we shall not make them or let them decide for us.

It’s tempting to ask – ‘What shall I do? What would you do in my place?’ – and just wait.

But the only correct answer to this is – I don’t know, as I’m not you. I can tell you how it looked in my case and what works for some people, but you have to decide what works for you.

Sometimes we ask for advice because we feel inferior, thinking someone possibly knows better than us, or are simply lost.

But at the end, we just don’t have the guts to decide ourselves.

And it is our insurance – if something doesn’t work out, we can say – ‘I did it because he told me. If only I hadn’t listened to him…’ And then the responsibility is not on us. We are safe. It wasn’t our decision, we didn’t make the mistake.

Either way, we are the ones who have to live with the consequences.

If I’m to bear consequences, I want them to be a result of my choices.  

I look at it that way before deciding, let’s do our analysis, and if we want, check how others have done it or ask for advice.

There are so many things we will never experience (for what we shall be entirely grateful) and we can learn from people who did. It’s priceless.

Then, let’s make our own decisions.

It doesn’t mean we don’t respect someone who gave us the advice. It means we listened to them, thought about what they said (which is a true sign of respect), and decided what is good in our case.

And if something doesn’t work, we learn from this experience. We cannot learn if we think that someone else is responsible. We shall own it.

It lets us grow.

2 Comments

  1. Aleesha Ackerman

    This rings so true. Thank you for your simple and eloquent words. I like this Blog and will continue to check-in. Thank you.

    Reply
    • Jo from Good and Done

      Thank you, Aleesha!

      Reply

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